I am a Christian. That right there is going to turn a lot of people off. Oh well. For those of you that stick around, I have a relationship with Christ that sort of goes like this: "Hey God, that so-and-so really ticked me off. What are you going to do about it?" Or "Jesus, I don't really like this situation I'm in, when do you plan on changing it?" On rare occasions I tell him how wonderful he is like yesterday when I noticed how awesome the leaves were. He rarely gets a word in edgewise with me because I'm sort of ADD and a scatterbrain, moving from one thing to the next, so the best way he communicates with me is through dreams.
Ok, I am in a situation that is less than ideal. I'm not going to go into all the gory details since the person directly responsible has no knowledge of how irritated I am with them. Yesterday I was pretty angry at this person. And with me there are two kinds of angry. There's the 'black-woman-letting-off-some-steam-venting' angry and then there's the 'I'msoangryIcan'teventalkrightnow' angry. Guess which one I was experiencing? So, like any good Christian, I had to pray about my 'sit'chiation. And God, in his ever loving kindness gave me the coolest dream ever which I am going to share with you kiddies.
I'm walking along this country road with a man (don't get excited, it's Jesus. Or maybe get excited, it's JESUS!). We come to this old church--like the kind you'd see in England or New England. We're just chatting away like old friends. We continue along the road until without warning it ends--it's a 100 foot drop and on the other side is a bustling highway. He says to me, 'Jump down, I will catch you on my back." (Sidebar: Those of you who know me know that when you suggest to me to do something that is a little unusual or crazy I'm going to give you The Look. I did that to Jesus in the dream with a little 'pffpff' just in case he'd missed The Look).
For some strange reason, he insisted I jump, even though I insisted I was scared, but for an even stranger reason I did. The next thing I knew, not only was I on Jesus's back, but we were already on the other side of the highway flying at lightning speed. 'Where are we going?' I asked, but he wouldn't tell me. That's the thing about me. I want to know all the answers up front: where, when, how and why. So, Jesus at this point is quiet as a mouse. So, being the me that I am, I decide that since he ain't talkin, I'm going to read the street signs. Curious thing. I cannot read the signs. For one thing, we're going too fast; for another, they're crazy, weird words like 'Alexandaddle'. So, I stop trying and enjoy the ride. Hey, if Jesus is giving you a piggyback ride at lightening speed, what's your worry?
So, after our fantastic voyage, we come to an ocean. It's a strange ocean in that it's not so deep, but it is treacherous and there's a lot of people. There are people on other people's backs and there are people on vessels. Of course, me being the me that I am, I'm afraid to get in the ocean. Once again he tells me, 'Get on my back'. I do, sort of. I fell in the water, but I got on his back and we ride the waves--just not as fast (thank God because I get seasick). As I'm riding I see one of my other unhappy co-workers and I say '__, you need to get on Jesus's back. It's so much easier. Come on. You've got to get to know him.'There's more to the dream, but as was told to the Apostle John, I have to seal it up. Anyway what I wanted to share was God's answer to me. The funny thing was that when I went to bed last night I was angry. I mean angry to the point of being numb. But when I woke up, I was laughing and I literally felt like a ton of weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My specific prayer was, 'God, what is the reason that I am in this situation? I done all I can to change it and nothing. What is the lesson here that I am not getting? Sometimes if you're like me you want to know the who, what, where, when, why and how to life's every little dilemma. God doesn't always give us those answers. Sometimes, he throws us a curve ball. Frustrating, huh? However, he always asks us to trust him, and that sometimes is scary. It is scary to step out and walk on water. It's scary to trust God when our child is diagnosed with a severe mental illness. It's scary to trust God to stay or move or trust him with our very soul. But it's what he wants us to do. Trust him. I think he's safe to trust. Afterall, he created the world from nothing in seven days, I think he can handle our issues.