Lately, God and I have been sort of on the outs. I've been sorta not talking to Him. I know, silly. There are some things that He wants me to deal with that I don't feel like dealing with. Plus, I'm kinda sorta ticked that He hasn't been answering my prayers--at least not in the way that I think He should answer them.
I said in another blog that I went on a retreat of sorts with some ladies from an old study I used to attend. I seriously didn't want to go, but one of my friends kept asking me if I would go and I finally relented. I am so glad I did.
The first couple of nights, I did nothing--I didn't read my Bible, didn't pray, didn't talk to the Lord. On our first night there, one of the ladies told me they'd seen dolphins earlier that day. I felt a little twinge. I've never been one of those "dolphin" people, but I love to see dolphins in their natural habitat. I've never seen them up close, though. It's never been a thing that I've asked God for, but still it was an unspoken desire.
Sunday morning the Lord woke me up quite early and told me He and I needed to talk. I got up and walked to the beach. We had a long talk about some of the things that I know have been holding back our relationship. I felt something break in me, and I haven't felt God's presence like that before. It wasn't an overwhelming thing, it was just gentle and sweet. I walked along the beach and picked up a few more shells along the way. Afterwards, I found my way back to the gazebo and just sat to listen to the ocean. It's one of my favorite things to do. It just gives me such a peace to listen to the rushing waves and look at the ocean's vastness. It never ceases to fill me with wonder at God's creative genius.
Anyway, I sat there engrossed in my thoughts, and just feeling wrapped in God's love when something caught my eye. I looked up and there were dolphins! Three of them and they were maybe 50 feet from the shore! I've never seen them so close in all my life. I watched them as they swam away. Moments later, I saw three more and these were even closer. Again, I'm not one of those people that worships the creation, but that moment was just so awe inspiring and tender. It was just so beautiful to watch these creatures in their element. There were only three other people on the beach, and we all just stopped for that moment. It was like we all held our breath just watching this scene. It was, for lack of better words, just the coolest thing I've ever seen!
In that moment, I was so broken that God so gives us the desires of our heart. It was just such a sweet tender moment from my Father! To think that He loves me so much to answer a simple desire that I hadn't even expressed to Him! How much He loves me. It's like He stopped the universe just for me, for just a small moment in time. I could just hear Him saying, 'I have loved you with an everlasting love.' I don't think I can ever look at Him the same.